Today is one of those days when it's hard to be thankful. My grandfather passed away a couple of days ago, and his funeral was today, but I'm so thankful that he had a long and healthy life! He was almost 84 years old, and was on the roof cleaning out the gutters just a few weeks ago. I'm thankful that my grandmother is still with us, and that we have more time yet to spend with her.
Family is such a precious gift! Love on yours, today.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Loving the Difficult Child
I feel like, at 30 years old, I have a pretty healthy image of myself -- both the flaws and the good parts. At least, I used to. I've always loved children, and I've always been good with them. I'm stern, but consistent, without being mean, and I shower children with love and affection. I thought those were set-in-stone truths about me.
Then God showed me something that came as a very unpleasant surprise.
As you all probably know, I was chomping at the bit to get some little ones in my home. I missed little gummy smiles and even diapers. I got what I wished for, but I'm finding it's not at all like I imagined. About 8 months ago, two little girls arrived in our home. The little one was a joy, particularly for the first couple of months. Now she's going through the terrible twos, which is not so fun, but is totally expected. Indie, the 2, now 3, year-old, though, has been a challenge of epic proportions. She hasn't set anything on fire or killed anyone (yet), but it's the little things. Constant lying, constant disobedience, jaw-dropping defiance, sneaky behaviors, stealing, inciting arguments and fights.... I could go on, but I think you get the picture. Last night, she woke up Tink at 4:30 in the morning by throwing things at her. Which is not the first or even fifth time this week she has thrown something at Tink.
To make this long story short, I'm totally defeated. I lose patience constantly with her, which makes me more short and on edge with Sassy, and even Jonathan and Juli to some degree. I feel like I'm constantly at "simmer" just waiting to boil over. Right now, I'm not good with these kids. I've tried every disciplinary tactic at my disposal, but nothing works. I keep wondering how Jesus would handle a kid like Indie, and I keep coming up with LOVE, and forgiveness. So here's the big money question. How do I show love to this child?
Tink and I were discussing love and marraige recently, and I was emphasizing to her how love is an action, not a feeling. Loving someone is treating them with respect and kindness, and putting their needs over your own, not some butterflies-in-tummy emotion that is so very temporary. And then I thought about Indie. Is my love for her coming out in my actions?
Busted.
But the problem still remains. How do I love her, yet guide her in the way she should go? How can I love her, yet protect the other little ones in my home (like, protecting Tink from projectile objects?). So, God has shown me that I have some work to do... any ideas on how I might do it?
Then God showed me something that came as a very unpleasant surprise.
As you all probably know, I was chomping at the bit to get some little ones in my home. I missed little gummy smiles and even diapers. I got what I wished for, but I'm finding it's not at all like I imagined. About 8 months ago, two little girls arrived in our home. The little one was a joy, particularly for the first couple of months. Now she's going through the terrible twos, which is not so fun, but is totally expected. Indie, the 2, now 3, year-old, though, has been a challenge of epic proportions. She hasn't set anything on fire or killed anyone (yet), but it's the little things. Constant lying, constant disobedience, jaw-dropping defiance, sneaky behaviors, stealing, inciting arguments and fights.... I could go on, but I think you get the picture. Last night, she woke up Tink at 4:30 in the morning by throwing things at her. Which is not the first or even fifth time this week she has thrown something at Tink.
To make this long story short, I'm totally defeated. I lose patience constantly with her, which makes me more short and on edge with Sassy, and even Jonathan and Juli to some degree. I feel like I'm constantly at "simmer" just waiting to boil over. Right now, I'm not good with these kids. I've tried every disciplinary tactic at my disposal, but nothing works. I keep wondering how Jesus would handle a kid like Indie, and I keep coming up with LOVE, and forgiveness. So here's the big money question. How do I show love to this child?
Tink and I were discussing love and marraige recently, and I was emphasizing to her how love is an action, not a feeling. Loving someone is treating them with respect and kindness, and putting their needs over your own, not some butterflies-in-tummy emotion that is so very temporary. And then I thought about Indie. Is my love for her coming out in my actions?
Busted.
But the problem still remains. How do I love her, yet guide her in the way she should go? How can I love her, yet protect the other little ones in my home (like, protecting Tink from projectile objects?). So, God has shown me that I have some work to do... any ideas on how I might do it?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
