Friday, October 23, 2009

Same Question , Different Day

I'm really learning to loathe this mess we call a foster care system.

We are failing these babies. I'm beginning to wonder if it's irreparably broken. Our priorities are completely wrong for these children. When do we stop worrying about the parents' rights, and start worrying about a child's right to a real family? How much time should we give a parent to straighten out before we do the right thing? They say that 80% of all foster children return home. Home can be to a relative or the actual parent. A huge percentage of them end up right back in the system... even more broken than they were.

I have three precious little ones from the system right now (so one is 16, I don't care, she's still my baby). Tinkerbell has found her forever family in us, and we are so excited. I have to give some credit to her biological parents in this situation though. They voluntarily terminated their rights because they knew it was the right thing to do. I wonder if we would have even been able to adopt her otherwise?

The two little ones are almost certainly going home to a relative sometime in the next several months. I'm so afraid that this will just shatter them completely. They've both come so far. I fully expect them to be back in custody in no time. How broken will Indie be then? And so it is so difficult and frustrating to look into her little eyes... now filled with actual *trust*... and I know I'll have to break it. I know there will be a day in the not-so-distant future, when I'll have to try to explain to her that I'm not "mommy" anymore. She is so happy right now, and instead of rejoicing in her progress, I am heartbroken for the coming loss. I've spent some time wondering.... "God where ARE you?".

He's here. I know He is.

3 comments:

Harry said...

You never know what God has in store, or why He does what He does. Doesn't that suck?

Sabrina said...

It does while you are going through it, but I've seen the other side of these situations enough to know that it will all turn out for the good. That's what we are promised.

Amber (EyesofAmber) said...

I love you guys. Sabrina, do you remember when you first found out you were going to get them? You and I had a conversation about making their lives better for whatever time you had them, whether that was a few weeks, or months, or years. We talked about how all we could do was love them while they were here. That no matter what happened in the past or the future, they were meant to be yours for this time. I know it's going to break your heart and hurt like crazy, but look at all you've done for those two beautiful little girls.

We love you all!
Amber